18 Oct 1945



Thurs. a.m.

My own darling Sweetheart,

I feel as if I must sit down & write to you straight away. You make me feel like crying when I read all the nice things you say --- I don't know what I've done to deserve all this i'm so anxious to know what these surprises are that you've got for me. I shall never rest now till I know. I'm more curious than a cat.

Thankyou ever so much for the money. You mustn't send so much, you know, I don't know how you manage to exist on the little bit you keep for yourself. Please don't lead a miserable existence without fags & amusement enjoy yourself as much as you can while you're able to. I don't like you smoking heavily but you can't allow yourself very many cigs according to the amount of L.S.D. you send me, & you must get some pleasure from life. After we're married, I might as a special favour, let you smoke your pipe in the kitchen occassionally but all cigarettes must be smoked outdoors. Get that ? !!!

It's half past ten now. I've just come in from my ½ day off. I've been playing cards with Mrs.Hardwick, her sister & her brother-in-law & for a change, I've won. They left us about 6 --- the children had to go home to bed & since then I've been sat sewing ---- the tablecloth's beginning to look quite nice now ---- & discussing my most important subject. Of course, you wouldn't know what that is. Mr. Hardwick's promised me some daisy chrysanthemum roots for our garden. He says they'll be coming to the wedding by car. I don't care how they come so long as they do come.

It's Motheres responsibility to invite the guests so we will have to knock our heads together – the three of us. I mean there seems to be hundreds of folk who ought to be asked ---- it's going to be pretty awful weeding them out.

Didn't I tell you I was hoping to get hold of a white dress & all its trimmings. I suppose I shall feel as dressed up as a dogs' dinner so you must wear a top hat to correspond. To be correct of course you should wear a morning suit stiff collar & bow tie ----or the Kings uniform. Of course, you'll please yourself so long as you're there it doesn't matter. I shall be so thrilled when we stand there together I'm sure I shan't hear a word of what the parson's saying & I shall forget to give Eva my flowers & everything. All I shall be able to hear & see will be you so we must slip off from the crowd ever so quickly or they'll think I'm crackers. Where shall we go? Somewhere where no one knows us so they won't be able to play any tricks on us. I shall run off & leave you if they do. By the way, do you want me to promise to “obey you”? I always swore I'd never obey any man. There's no need to promise anyway.

I feel ever so happy tonight. Mrs. Hardwicks' sister & her husband seem such a happy pair. They've 2 kiddies a boy of 6, & a baby of a year old. She's ever such a sweet kid. I always think of you when I see a couple like they are. Marrion insists on giving me advice on “how to bring up a husband in the RIGHT WAY”. It's very intersting, too. She's trying it out on Ted --- mind you they've been married about 14 years! I laugh & take it all in.

Mother wrote to me this morning. Charles has had another “do” & has been rushed off to hospital. I'm sure one day he'll drop dead --- I'm certain that's how he'll end. Two or three of dad's brothers did you know & I've an idea he'll do the same. His hearts' in an awful condition I don't know how he manages to work at all.

Well sweetheart, I've nothing more to tell you tonight. It's time I was in bed. Do you know there's a pernament mark on my finger where your ring fits! Hours afterwards you can tell I should be wearing a ring. I wonder if Matron's noticed it. You know how they used to brand slaves --- well I feel as if I'm branded ---- belonging to you. Now I've reminded myself of something horrid ---your arm is marked too. I try not to think of it but I shall be bound to notice it when your sleeves are rolled up. Can you do anything about it, please. I know I shouldn't feel jealous but I can't trust myself to look at that without it affecting me. I'll never forget your cousin Doris teasing you about it. It made me feel so miserable I wanted to come home & if it hadn't been for upsetting your aunt I think I should have done. I didn't ever want to remember it again but talkingmarks made me think of it & it's spoilt my letter. I love you so much I can't bear that another girl's name should come between us. Please forgive me for mentioning it but I'm really afraid of it.

All my Love Ever.

May X X X X X X X X X XX

557876 Tpr. J.H.Hallam R.A.C.,

H.Q. Coy (Sgt's Mess Cook ),

G.S.C. Depot,

Whittington Barracks,