20 Jan 1946

 

Newark.etc.

20.1.46.

My own darling Sweetheart,

I really don't know what to call you. I can't think of anything nice enough. I'm just dying to see you on Saturday now. I'd just got myself nicely trained on having to do without you & then you start off my old longing for you ---- now all I can do is count the hours & minutes till I can see you. While I think of it ---- it's my night off next Sat. That means I shall come off duty at 8 am. Sat till 10pm. Sun. night. How's that? I'd love to come to Nottm. To meet you but it's not worth the risk of being disappointed ---- because I'm hoping you'll manage to get a lift home. Anyway I'll be there when you turn up.

Thanks ever so much for the surprise parcel ---- it was brought up to my room for me just before I went to bed at dinner time. I was so thrilled at receiving it that I just wanted to come rushing over to you to thank you properly & failing that, to sit down & weep. You're always making me feel like that you know & it's not really good for my peace of mind. Up to now, I don't think my work here has suffered ---- but really it's more by luck than judgement. Every few minutes I go off into a sort of day dream ----- ( should I say night dream ) about you & the things we're going to do, & it's the same when I go to bed. No wonder folks think I'm a bit 'barmy'. I have to think of sensible things such as dockets, furniture, etc. while we're apart because when I'm with you ---- your mere presence makes me forget everything else whether they're supposed to be important to life or not.

While we were having supper last night I thought to myself “ I shan't be doing this next week, all being well”. I tried to imagine what I should be doing & thinking of the week that was past would just snuggle up a bit closer in your arms. I shut my eyes & try to imagine that's what I'm doing now ----- but my imagination isn't strong enough. To think that in a few short weeks, we shall have the right to do just as we please ---- no more snatched French leaves ----- no more “It's time you were in bed, May” from Mother ----- no more partings at all except when you go to work ----- & then you'll soon be home again. It sounds so lovely ----- it seems almost too good to be true.

I wish sometimes, in one way, I weren't quite so much in love with you & then this seperation wouldn't be so hard to bear. I quite realize you feel the same ----- the hopelessness of knowing that though we're so near each other we can't see each other very often because of petty regulations & red tape. Anyway we can look forward to you being home very soon & try to make up for a bit of this lost time.

You'll be 27 next week won't you? Do you begin to feel a really old man? I feel ever so old already ---- I shall soon be 24.

I've no news to tell you sweetheart. I bought another 2 pairs of ordinary everyday pillow cases yesterday morning. I talk to you about beds & bedding to you as if it's the most natural thing in the world ---- which it is of course, but I always thought I'd be too shy or daft to even think of such things in connection with a man who was no blood relation. Mind you, I'm still scared to death of people playing tricks on us. I'm sure that I should be so 'het-up' that I wouldn't consider it at all funny if someone had beenn messing about & I wouldn't be responsible for my actions. I'd most likely walk out & never come back again. After all it's only 13 weeks as last night so it's time I worried.

Don't you think it's time we fixed up something definite about where we're going? There'll probably be time when you come home ---- but Easter's a busy time you know.

It's been snowing here yesterday. When I went out yesterday morning there were some kids sliding on Balderton Gate & I would have loved to have joined them ----- but of course, being a Night Sister it was far beneath my dignity. I always remember going sliding in the moonlight one year when the soldiers were at Stoke. We went on the ponds in the field against Thorpe Lane. I'm not an expert at the game but I did enjoy myself.

Anyway when I'm your wife & mother of your children ( I hope ) such childish things will not interest me. You won't mind though, will you, if I do go off the rails now & again & insist on doing some daft thing or other will you? I don't know whether you'd join me or not ---- but I can just see myself letting the supper get itself ready while I play “Hide & Seek” in the Park in the dusk with all the kids in the village. Folks would think I was even dafter than I am now ---- not that it would worry me.

I'm rambling again ---- I hope you don't take any notice of me when I go off.

I got my super – ann. from Sheffield today. £12.11.6. Quite a bit more than I expected. It'll be useful anyway & quite worth the trouble I took to get it.

Well, sweetheart I must close. Six more days. Sun. Mon. Tues. Wed. Thurs. Fri. & then I'll be seeing you.

All my love Always.

Your ever loving Sweetheart,


X X X X X XX X X X X X May X X X X X X


557876 Tpr. J.H.Hallam R.A.C.,

H.Q. Coy (Sgt's Mess Cook ),

G.S.C. Depot,

Whittington Barracks,

Lichfield,

Staffs..